I was talking with a friend tonight, and she said although she was prepared, it really stung when her kid was waitlisted at a highly selective university. She felt her child, a 4.0 student active in several activities who is genuinely just a great human, deserved to get in. She’s not wrong.
But the fact of the matter is that highly selective admissions are just that: highly selective. For just about every student applying, it’s a reach because the applicant pool is of such high quality. As one speaker said at last year’s NACAC conference, “Just because you’re admissable, that doesn’t mean you’re admitted.”
Although it is something of a blunt reality to read, there’s comfort to be had in those words if you really think about it. It’s not that there was anything wrong with you as an applicant. You didn’t necessarily do anything wrong or make some mistake you have to turn over in your brain. There just wasn’t space at that school for you this year. And that’s okay. It’s not a reflection on you or your worthiness as a person.
So what do you do when you feel bummed out all the same because you (or your child) didn’t get in? First, feel those feelings! It’s okay to be sad about it. Embrace those stages of grief. But keep perspective that there are other excellent schools out there that are a good fit, so there’s no need to be hung up on this one. And tons of students move off of wait lists every year if you find yourself in that boat! (You can also apply again next year if you’re up for transferring schools.)
If you want to understand better why you were declined admission, you can reach out to the university’s admissions department and ask them for feedback on your application. Some are willing to provide insight on why you weren’t chosen; others may give you a standard message about a “strong applicant pool” and there not being enough seats for the number of qualified applicants. Regardless of the reason, try to remember that rejection is part of life, and this too shall pass.
At the end of the day, my friend is like every great parent. She loves her daughter fiercely, and she wants to see her recognized for all the hard work she has put in to get this far. And although her daughter faced a disappointment today, tomorrow she’ll bounce back with a powerful support system behind her.